Text

goldenwebs:

everybody needs to calm down and look at a leaf

(via oregonfairy)

Source: voidfella
Text

fulllblownrose:

It’s too hot *opens window* in comes 20 flies, 8 spiders, 17 daddy long legs, 50 moths, 3 dragons and 12 Jehovah’s witnesses.

(via oknope)

Source: fulllblownrose
Text

jimdoesntcarrey:

*skips 150 songs till i get the one i want* it must be destiny

(via pizza)

Source: jimdoesntcarrey
Text

abomasnow:

ignoranthipster:

abomasnow:

what if a follower transferred to your school just to try and get close to you

i would actually do this *creeper alert*

you realize that isn’t quirky or cute this is the kind of stuff horror movies are made of

(via relahvant)

Source: abomasnow
Text

dink-182:

celestial-lives:

dink-182:

Random boob pain, why do you exist?

Dink, science says that random boob pain is tiny air bubbles passing through boobie

Well there we go then. Darn air bubbles. Thanks science.

Source: dink-182
Text

generalbooty:

yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

(via dlubes)

Source: generalbooty
Text

tawnks:

blastortoise:

blastortoise:

My dick is pi inches long

This is fucking me up a bit because like that means my dick is not bigger than 3 inches but yet it’s infinite like wtf

no it just means your dick is irrational and people hate it

(via telapathetic)

Source: blastortoise
Photo
Text

abomasnow:

straight girls be like

image

image

(via communistbakery)

Source: abomasnow
Photo